Midlife Crisis Meltdown

Besties, we are NOT okay and we are LOVING it. This week Lindsay drops the bomb we did not see coming: she's having marriage issues and an identity crisis, she's moving out, and she is moving in with her partner in crime, Chelsea. Two dumb girls, one midlife crisis.

We're talking 2am doorbell rings, "sad and poor" era, delusional manifestation, and the exact moment we both decided to blow our whole lives up on purpose. I

Grab your ice cream and your emotional support bestie, because this one's a ride. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

You're poor.

SPEAKER_03 0:09

People are not saying nice things to me.

SPEAKER_02 0:12

Like, what? You're sad and sad and poor. Oh. What the fuck? Did I poor? I'm poor. I stifled a giggle because I'm thinking, you know, that is what you're coming at me with.

SPEAKER_01 0:31

Okay. Yeah. He's not really attacking my character.

SPEAKER_04 0:34

He's just Oh, you know which one I get, but take your meds. Hello, and welcome to this week's episode of Honestly Smiley's. I'm Chelsea Tranno. This is Dr. Lindsay. And sometimes we're smart, but we're always hilarious. Let's go. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 0:52

We've decided to have a midlife crisis at the exact same time. Yay! Yay! Welcome. Welcome to the shit show that is unfolding at a very rapid pace. We are having a hard time catching our breath and processing every single thing that has happened.

SPEAKER_03 1:10

It's a lot. Those two dumb girls that got fired together in their late 30s have now decided to any up the levels. Fucking let's have our midlife crisis together. Let's get divorced together at the same time. Let's move out of our respective houses. Let's fucking let's together.

SPEAKER_02 1:49

Are you hearing what we're saying right now?

SPEAKER_04 1:52

My mind is fucking blown. These two dumb girls that you listen to every week. And you have for the last four years. We're making our dreams come true.

SPEAKER_02 2:04

We're making our dreams come true. Chelsea would say, and the Moogie trailer. We've got one more shot. Let's go.

SPEAKER_03 2:13

The fact that we're doing it together changes everything. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 2:18

Anyway.

SPEAKER_03 2:19

So Lindsay, tell me what's going on in your neck of the what's going on in your neck of the wet sick.

SPEAKER_01 2:25

The last few years, I've just been very restless, feeling very torn, unhappy, distancing myself from my husband. Over the past few months, it's just been getting worse. Over the past few weeks, it's really been getting worse. And a handful of people in the past few months have been like, you seem really unhappy. You're just not yourself. I know. And this is people I don't even know that well picking up on that energy.

SPEAKER_04 2:48

I know. I still have had like salad in your teeth. Yeah, literally. You seem sad. That is kind of an offensive word for us. That's like no.

SPEAKER_02 2:56

I'm like, I'm not sad. I'm happy. It's not a Disney princess.

SPEAKER_01 3:00

I'm gonna fuck my way into happiness if it kills me. Um so I look sad apparently, even though you know I'm always happy and bubbly all the time. I guess not. I guess not enough. Um then, like two weeks ago, I was just sitting at home reading a book, minding my own business, out of my lady lounge. And all of a sudden, I just burst into tears, unconsolable. I I had a breaking point. I don't know what happened. All of a sudden, my mind snapped. Like, am I in a psychosis and am I going crazy? I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 3:34

It's kind of what it feels like. It's like someone hypnotized me and they snap their fingers and they're like, and go. So then um, my husband is like, what's going on?

SPEAKER_01 3:50

And I am crying. I'm like, I'm so unhappy, so unfulfilled. I am just feeling so attractive, so stuck, I can't handle it anymore. I know this is coming out of the blue, but I've been feeling like this for the longest time. I just snapped and I was just like, okay, that feels good to get off my chest. And of course he was shocked. He's like, what the fuck? Um, he was angry. He said some really mean things. Fair enough. You're mad. You're reacting. Did you say mean things? I did not say mean things.

SPEAKER_04 4:18

Okay, so you don't have to say mean things.

SPEAKER_01 4:20

You don't have to say mean things. I guess I didn't say mean things because I have already been processing for a really long time this conversation. Like you knew what you were gonna say. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 4:30

It was your three by five card.

SPEAKER_01 4:32

It was bullet point, bullet point, bullet point.

SPEAKER_04 4:34

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 4:35

I was like, I'm just, I'm not happy here. I'm not comfortable. I think I need some space. I need to live a bigger life. I just feel like our goals are not aligned. We see the world completely different ways. And then he circles back with, well, you can't make it on your own. You're poor.

SPEAKER_03 4:59

People are not saying nice things anymore. I'm like, what? You're sad and sad and poor. Oh what the fuck?

SPEAKER_02 5:11

I'm poor. I'm poor. I stifled a giggle because I'm thinking, you know, that is what you're coming at me with.

SPEAKER_01 5:21

Okay. He's not really attacking my character. He's just Oh, you know what you're not again? But take your meds. It was not a productive conversation. I just had to play it all out on the table for him. We circled back later, and of course we have plans with our friends to go tubing. And I was like, if we could just not be mad at each other for the next, you know, six hours, we'll circle back and argue later. That'd be great. I loved her face. So then, you know, we hang out with our friends, fun time, whatever. Like we can have a fun time together. That's not the issue. The issue is that we're just so disconnected, and he thinks that I live a delusional life, which maybe I do. I do because being delusional is a lot more fun than reality. And if you are delusional enough, everything does come true.

unknown 6:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 6:09

So that's how you manifest. We know we're delusional. You have no idea how much we've been sucked up into our delusion this weekend.

SPEAKER_01 6:16

So we are so fucked. Basically, it was a come to Jesus moment for both of us. We're both unhappy. Like he has not been in it, I have not been in it. So it's not like it's one-sided. The cycle is we fight, we make up, he's nice. We fight, we make up, he's nice. And he's mean. We fight, make up, he's nice, he's mean. Which one did you stop on? We fight, we make up. We're on he's nice right now. Yeah, he's trying very hard. He's making me dinner, he's like, he's such an effort. Like, whatever you want, you can have it. And he's giving me all the space I could possibly want. But I think it's good for him to reflect on the things that I'm saying and how we are just different, and that's okay. He's at this point where he's like, if you're gonna call it, just call it. Like, just let me know. Last night, uh, Chelsea and I we went out and we came back to Chelsea's and I texted my husband. I was like, hey, I'm just gonna sleep over Chelsea's house. And I usually don't sleep over here. Never. Never because I live right next door. But I was just like, I'm tired and I just don't want to go home. Uh-huh. So my husband proceeds to call me at 12:30. And he's like, Where are you? Are you at Chelsea's? I need to see you. I need proof that you're there. He's like, I'm coming to the apartment right now. I'm gonna see you. Like, what? I'm like, I'm like, I'm sound asleep, and I wake up to that. So then at 2 a.m. he finally calls. He's like, Come down right now. I need to see that you're here. I go down and he's standing by the elevators. I open up the door and I'm like, half asleep. My hair is disheveled, like George Washington, come over style. I was like, I'm here. And he's like, Happy Froth of Children. Freedom ring. He's like, Thank you. Just need to see that you're here. Okay, bye. So I was like, Yeah, I come back up to bed. And then we wake up this morning, I roll over, and I'm like, guess what happened last night? Austin was here. And you're like, oh shit. Because he also called my roommate asking if you were here and how to get in. And I'm like, okay, he was on a mission. He sounded like he was on PCP. Yeah, who the fuck are you? Like, what? You've never tracked me down a day in my life.

SPEAKER_04 8:22

You're like, now sat in that psychosis for about 90 minutes. Yeah. Very long time. Drunk out. Just to lay eyes on you? Uh huh. That's a lot of work just to see your face. I know.

SPEAKER_01 8:32

Um, so then I go home this morning and I'm like, what the fuck was that? He's like, I don't trust you. I didn't know where you were. You never stay over at Chelsea's house. Why would I believe that you're there? You've been off acting weird. Yeah. I'm like, well, that was fucked up. Yeah. I'm like, you had to see me with your own two eyes. I'm like, so you don't trust me. Okay, got it. I proceed to take the best shower of my life. I pack up a few bags to say elsewhere for I don't know how long. As I'm about to leave, I'm like, hey, so I'm gonna go and I stay at this other place. I don't know how long I'm gonna be there. And he's like, what? He's like, we need to talk right now. Like, okay. And he was like, so I'm sorry that I did that last night. I know it was really out of character for me, but it's really out of character for you to stay over at Chelsea's house. And you told me that you were gonna be home. Then at the last second, you decided to text me that you're not coming home. I was like, I didn't have to text you, but I did. And I wanted you know, so you weren't worrying about me. He's like, I'm really hurt that I didn't hang out with you all weekend. You don't want to hold my hand or let me touch you. He's like, I'm all in, but you're not giving me a chance. He's like, it seems like you've kind of already made up your mind, but you're not telling me and you don't really have anything to say to anything I'm saying. I'm like, I'm just taking everything you're saying and processing it so I can circle back at a later date with my thoughts. Corporate talk. Uh-huh. And he's just like, he's like, you've just been off. And he's like, this is just out of the blue. And he's like, I know the past few years have been really hard. And like, I know that I haven't been the best husband. I haven't been a boyfriend. I haven't been treating you right. The whole time, I just like, mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. He's like, You're just saying, mm-hmm. I was like, I'm I'm agreeing with you. Like, yes. And he's like, you can stay here. I'll just stay in my room. We can be roommates, literally. Roommates that don't see each other. He's like, You can text me when you want to be home. You can have the whole place to yourself, and I will stay in my room and you don't even have to sit. And I was like, Well, for now, I just want to be elsewhere. And he's like, So we're still together. We're just taking space from each other. I'm like, yes. Let them spit out at work. Because the last 25% of me is like, I don't know, can we make it work? But then I'm like, if I make it work, I'm still sacrificing my happiness and everything I want to be doing. I might leave you. I know. It's just like, I'm so mad today because I did my hair, my makeup, I went to car to my car, and then I was crying, and I was like, God damn it, I fucked up my makeup. I'm just trying to wrap my head around the last few hours. There's a lot going on.

SPEAKER_04 11:08

This happened like 90 minutes ago, you guys. To hear how quiet I was, I haven't heard that story before. I just want to be by myself. Remember last year when I house sat the house of my dreams?

SPEAKER_01 11:19

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 11:19

And it was like, there's no TV. We were just quietly sitting in our separate bedroom.

SPEAKER_01 11:24

It'll be like that. He's like, if you decide that this is over, he's like, I don't want to be malicious. Oh. But a lot of things will be changing. Oh. And I was like, well, that sounds malicious. It's like, no offense, but you're poor and you're sad.

SPEAKER_02 11:41

That's what that sounds like. It does. Yeah. Yes, it does.

SPEAKER_04 11:44

Uh-huh. Stick with me, I'll take care of you. I know sound and poor. Well, we're fine. Um, so yeah, so that's where I left it. Any indication of how he's going to maliciously get back at you? I don't know. Um it's just gonna be about money.

SPEAKER_01 11:59

It is just gonna be about money. Is he that much richer than you? Not really. He's putting a timeline on me. It's like, is it a week or is it a month? He's like, I need to know. And then he, but at the same time, he's like, you're not giving me a chance to change. I'm like, I don't trust that you're going to change.

SPEAKER_04 12:12

I said this to Cyber whomever I've been spending time with. I deserve a minute to get my bearings on a very important decision. Can you give me a fucking second? Literally. Why do I have to give you a decision right now? I don't know. I know. I know. Give me some time. Why is time to think about something not an honored commodity? I know. I just need to get out of this house. I need space and time. Let me fucking breathe. He is the one that communicates. And you just kicked in the fucking floodgates with that one. I did. You kicked his teeth in. I did. His emotional teeth are gone. Need some dentures.

SPEAKER_01 12:50

He's a blowy, is what the poor fucking guy needs.

SPEAKER_04 12:53

It's a real problem for it. It's a real problem. You're a good wife, Lindsay. I am a good wife. You do what good wives do. I sure do. That is a real motivator for that individual. And that energy is going to be redistributed. You moving out means you're not your eyes twitching. I have so much caffeine.

SPEAKER_03 13:15

Your eyes are like I'm thinking so hard. Your eyes twitching. Should I not say talk? No, keep talking. For goodness sakes. She's gonna have a hard day.

SPEAKER_04 13:30

Here's the thing you give him a blowy every day. Yeah. Or you have sex every day. You take that away, that man is gonna fucking crumble. And then because that's very important to him. Yes, it is. Not just like, oh, I really like it. It is something that is important to him and his constitution. It's a core thing. You take that away because only you can give it. Yeah. That energy is going to fester, and you're gonna get it.

SPEAKER_01 14:03

Not to be malicious, but you're gonna get it.

SPEAKER_02 14:06

I can feel my eye twitching. I'm looking at Lindsay in the eyes. My right eye is like, and to my eyebrows like twitching trolling.

SPEAKER_04 14:20

Yeah, I know. And it's so bad that I could see it. You know how normally you get a twitch and you're like, can you see it? They're like, no, you can see it. No, it was like I find myself stopping when I see it.

SPEAKER_01 14:29

So yeah, so that's what's happening over here.

SPEAKER_04 14:32

We wanted to blow shit up in June. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 14:36

Literally, it was like what June 21st. We're like, it's getting down to the end of the wild.

SPEAKER_02 14:52

We didn't fuck shit up enough yet. Let's fucking go.

SPEAKER_04 15:00

Anyway, I will keep you updated. And you know, a lot of our listeners are really excited to support us. And they are like, hey, we know you guys are going through some stuff. And we're really invested. Any chance you could give us an update real time throughout the week because it's super exciting. And things are changing at such a rapid rate because it's you and it's me. Yeah. Anyway, I went to Mexico two weeks ago. Ooh, I sold my soul. Oh, that was a doozy. Okay. What happened in Mexico? So I had the invitation to talk business in Mexico. Beautiful scenery. Uh right on the beach, penthouse. A lot of shopping trips. A lot of pretty clothes. Something magnificent you cannot see unless you fuck your way there. Literally. And that's not great. But you know, you can only fuck your way there. Geez, Louise. What a cliche. I'm such an idiot. And you're like, that would never happen to me. I'm a nice lady from Cherry Hills. You know, you can't live a life of yes and shenanigans. If you don't bite, you gotta be in. Are you in? We are. So I had to do the thing. You're gonna dangle the carrot in front of me. It would be foolish for me not to. I did.

SPEAKER_03 16:36

Oh boy, was it bad.

SPEAKER_04 16:38

It was so bad, you guys. It was so, so bad. It was so bad. It uh college. And so yeah, that was a tough one. Lindsay texts and says, the sweetest thing I've ever heard anyone ever say. I'm tearing up thinking about it. She's like, if I was there, I would give them a blowjob to get them off of you. And I was like, oh my god, that's the sweetest thing I've ever heard. Because last Saturday she was married. This Saturday I would have made her fuck them. No, you did on that. It's your turn. It's your fucking turn. I'm tired of taking for the team. I am starting to get resentful. Have you noticed that lately? That I'm like, I can't be the only one doing fucked up shit all the time. I appreciate uh you playing a different role. Yeah. Because I am doing fucked up shit, but it's starting to become You have been taking one for the team. It was just that I it was it made sense. Right. But now you know what it is? Because the Annies have been upped so much higher. Um, I'm at risk a lot more. Sure. For a number of things. And it's not all nefarious. I really need a buddy system at all time, and I need you to get on board with being a fucking shit show, hot girl, we're having a midlife crisis together, prancing around in cute little young clothes, looking like lesbians. You guys sure you don't do threesums? You mean three ways? No, we don't do though. Thank you. Okay, so what's my big announcement? Well, I'm gonna move out too. And as soon as we're done recording here, Lindsay and I are gonna move in together. Yeah. So that's what we're doing. We're gonna have a content creating machine of a house.

SPEAKER_01 18:27

It's gonna be quiet time. We're gonna make content. We're going to be able to speak freely and move around freely and do our content freely.

SPEAKER_04 18:36

This is a once-in-a-life opportunity. Because, you know, these things don't last forever. So we have a um very narrow and generous window. Yes. Um what else is going on in your neck of the woods? Okay, so we manifested the 4th of July of my dreams. I've always had a heart on for 4th of July. I always want Americana. I grew up on a lake, but this year it exceeded it. We were with hot people, hot, interesting, dynamic people. Our age. Yeah. Everything we've ever wanted. Turns out I went to college with them. I'm like, was I cooler than I thought? You must have been. Josie Grossy wasn't as disgusting as I remember her to be. I do not believe that. It was the greatest weekend of my life. So fucking fun. So fun. Uh everybody was attractive. Lindsay and I were there together. We had mushrooms. I was holding court, making people laugh, doing the song and pony show, bringing people together. I felt really obnoxious because I was so fucked up that I was getting very self-conscious. But I'm always a lot anyway. But at least if I cultivate the party, I'm always apologizing for who I am and I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01 19:44

No need to apologize. We were perfect. And everyone enjoyed your company. Everyone was having a good time. We were laughing so hard. And especially the first day, we were like Giggle Fast City and Second Day at the pool, though. The second day at the pool, bad trip. However, other people are also on this bad trip. This is the thing though. Everyone was so concerned about us not drinking. And I'm like, you guys, no one cares. Why are you making it such a thing?

SPEAKER_04 20:15

I'm the one making it awkward. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 20:18

How are you guys doing? You're okay?

SPEAKER_04 20:19

I think maybe because we were the new hot girls. Okay. I I was like, can you see me? Only out of one eye. That's from this morning after I got my things.

SPEAKER_01 20:31

Um I appreciate that I'm checking in, but at some point I'm like, you guys, I'm good.

SPEAKER_04 20:37

Can we talk about some things? What do we do about that? You know everybody's got a persona when they get fucked up.

SPEAKER_01 20:49

Mm-hmm. Yeah. You see a different side of people when they're fucked up. What do you do with that? How much do you make a decision off of that? When I was in college or I'm still drinking, and I get really fucked up, and everyone around me gets really fucked up, and you see a different side to them. Sometimes I could not stand this other person when they're fucked up. Like, god damn, you're so annoyed. But okay, this is temporary, and that's just who you're gonna be right now, because all other times, 99% of the time, you're not that person. But that's what I do with right now. But I think the people that you spend time with, if you're with them 99% of the time and they're sober and it's a good time, I can look past the 1% of the time that they're being an idiot while they're fucked up.

SPEAKER_04 21:35

I'm asking you this because I have no frame of reference of hanging out with people who party. So, like, okay, everyone's so worried about me not drinking. Well, how about this? How about you cut me some slack when I don't know how to interact? I don't know what's appropriate or not. I feel homeschooled when it comes to hanging out with people who party.

SPEAKER_01 21:56

I wasn't really fucked up yesterday, but I'm still just like. Like laughing, giggling, have a good time, and I still participate. And what I notice is that when people are fucked up, they don't really notice that you're not. So you can just be you. A bad. Sure.

SPEAKER_04 22:13

First day, fucked up awesome.

SPEAKER_01 22:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:17

Second day, not great. Second day was a lot of feelings.

SPEAKER_01 22:20

That's what happens. I think maybe taking shrooms two days in a row is not the move.

SPEAKER_04 22:25

It gave me a feeling of people who have a shtick when they go out. Hmm. I see. I don't like shticks that make people feel uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_01 22:39

No, you aren't doing that. Because some people's shtick when they go out is like they're just a wild crazy one, and like they're gonna get everyone in shenanigans, or like this person's always gonna get lost, or like this person's gonna lose their shit, or like this person's dancing over there. Like everyone has a shtick when they're fucked up, and that's just like okay, that's just like Chelsea being Chelsea.

SPEAKER_04 22:57

But like I don't like the okay, those are cute ones, but I'm thinking like like saying inappropriate things, do you know what I mean? Either in like in the spirit of a joke, yes, and that is what a lot of people do.

SPEAKER_01 23:13

They do. Yes. When people are drunk, they say dumb ass shit, and they'll say it over and over and over again. Creepy. That's just that's just just being drunk. You can't help yourself. You find three things to say, and you can't get off that record. It is a loop.

unknown 23:30

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 23:31

I didn't know. That's what I remember from drinking. It's like I can't stop saying the exact same thing. This was a real adult party. This was a real adult party. These adults are so cool, they were so fucking cool, they're so hot.

SPEAKER_04 23:43

Claudia hit me up. I was hitting on her so hard. Like I couldn't stop. I was having like an out-of-body experience. Can I just tell you this D on the regular is becoming a problem? Why? Because I'm afraid I'm addicted to good D. Yeah, that's that happens. And now I kind of made a fool out of myself. Nothing that it's just like, yo, I have a problem now. Because I'm um we have a thing where it's okay to be like super cerebral about the thing. Be like, so now great job awakening this thing for the first time ever. What you might call that 15-year-old boy. So now I got this beast on my hands. And now you're like, well, now what? Am I gonna now you're just like number one rider? Well, I get it, but if that's not enough, what happens if it's not enough? You're like, well, uh fuck. Do you know what I mean? So I caught myself being very like addic addicted. And I was like, ew, that's so pathetic, but it is because it's you know what I mean? So now you're gonna be what waiting around. Hey, can I come over? Hey, oh, you came and I didn't. It's not long enough for me. I don't love that. Oh balance and schedules. But I'm a 50 year old lady who's waking up to her sexual revolution right now. So now you're like, I got what I wanted. I think you just have to what fill in the gaps and then call me on the swap.

SPEAKER_05 25:20

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 25:23

You have unleashed the beast and now you want more. That's okay. But how are you gonna get more? I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 25:34

I'm not I'm not like actively doing it, but you're like, I don't like waiting. I feel like you shouldn't have to wait. Yeah. I don't feel like they are making me wait in a world in which was even you could have sex without having to be like, what are you doing?

SPEAKER_01 25:54

Do you want to hang out? You wanna watch a movie? You know what I mean? Oh, you just want to be like, hey, I'm free for the next hour. Right here, right now. Right here, right now.

SPEAKER_04 26:03

Because uh there's a lot of times throughout the day I would like to, but now I really want to. I see. And then last night I only said I love you because he was having a bad trip and I wanted him to see it like when he left. And now I look like a fucking idiot who said I love you. But it was only like post like you are in a bad trip. I love you, baby, so much. Now it's not like I love you.

SPEAKER_01 26:29

Was it said again today? No, no, no.

SPEAKER_04 26:32

It was just like, I mean, his response was, oh baby, I love you too. But you know, so it wasn't like a real it wasn't the intended version.

SPEAKER_01 26:43

Let me tell you something else that's wild that happened this weekend. I was talking, I was making a new friend, yeah, and she was telling me about her swinger lifestyle.

SPEAKER_05 26:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:54

I was like, tell me more. Right. How do you get involved? How do you meet these people? See, look what I'm dealing with.

SPEAKER_04 26:59

Uh-huh. I got a whole new person. I got a whole new person over here. Yeah. Jeez, let's get some ice cream after this. I know. Seriously. Yes. All right.

SPEAKER_01 27:10

Um, and she's like, you know, it just happens organically. It first happened when I was 18. And it's just fun community. And now I live in LA and happened again. And I had to get out a little bit though, because it was just getting a little bit toxic. But um, she's like, I was just a vagina at the end of the day. I don't have a partner to go home to, and I want someone to go home to. I'm like, oh I yeah. I imagine that you feel start to feel empty after a while. Um, and then I invited myself to LA to a sweet party.

SPEAKER_03 27:41

Because we are empty inside. That sounds good for you.

SPEAKER_04 27:45

Because you're like, turns out I am empty inside. I am empty inside. Actually, perfect for me. We've always wanted to move away. We're gonna move to Europe eventually. Yep. We're gonna go to Spain. Yep. That's right. Uh that's what we said we wanted to do.

SPEAKER_01 27:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 27:59

I think now it would be a good idea.

SPEAKER_01 28:00

I think uh it is.

SPEAKER_04 28:02

Why not?

SPEAKER_01 28:02

Yeah. So let's just figure something out. If you guys think we're just doing this for the plot, I mean No, you're just lucky to be able to participate in our plot.

SPEAKER_04 28:10

This would have been our life either way.

SPEAKER_01 28:12

Well, I think the level of delusion that we have leveled up in our lives, it's just been a spinning wheel. Now I think we finally decided to put some momentum behind it.

SPEAKER_04 28:23

What do you think it was the thing that finally cracked us into being full blown crazy? Because we are fucking nuts.

unknown 28:31

We are fucking nuts.

SPEAKER_02 28:33

Psychosis, I tell you, we are so fucking dumb.

SPEAKER_04 28:38

Do you understand how old I am? I'm fucking 49. She's 33.

SPEAKER_01 28:48

I don't know. That's what I told you. I just like snapped. I'm like, oh my God. I think you're right. It was like June, and I'm still working at the gym. I have people chirping in my ear all the time. I'm picturing my life in five more years. I'm like, this, this is what I'm gonna be doing. Like, fuck. I just can't handle it anymore. And I feel like I'm in a good spot. Um financially, I'm not poor. Um, I think mentally I can handle a lot of change. But like, what the fuck not?

SPEAKER_04 29:19

So you mean to tell me doing what you're doing right now makes you poor. So if you didn't do what you're what you're doing right now, which is being poor, you would still be poor. Yeah. So you're fine. So I'm fine. You're gonna be poor either way. I know. I mean, what the fuck? I know. This is why I stayed as long as I did. I didn't want to be poor.

SPEAKER_01 29:37

I know, I don't want to be poor. My life is gonna be very inconvenient. Um, and things will be a little bit harder. We do not know what to do here. We have no clue what to do, but all these people that we met this weekend, they have been married, they've been divorced, they've lost a lot of money, they've made a lot of money, they have done it, and like they're still standing, they're living, they're not even phased by it. I'm not even phased, they're just like, that's just life. And then you're like, oh yeah. I'm like, that's right. And your new friend Claudia, she's like, My mom says I thrive in chaos. I'm like, I think you're just living life and you're it's not that deep. Just keep moving on.

SPEAKER_04 30:09

I want to get that tattoo. It's not that deep. Cyber said I was the best sex he's ever had in his whole life.

SPEAKER_01 30:15

His whole life. Not just number one writer, but best sex in the whole life.

SPEAKER_04 30:19

Oh, maybe not. I'm gonna ask, where do I rank in the best sex of your whole life? No, I guess I didn't realize number one writer means something different.

unknown 30:31

Oh.

SPEAKER_04 30:32

He like hopped off and he was like, number one rider. I didn't really think that meant a compliment. I was like, no, you're really good at that.

SPEAKER_01 30:38

I heard it was like a symphony. There is a buildup, there is a crescendo, there are multiple instruments happening at one point in time. Okay, but the thing is, I didn't know he felt this way.

SPEAKER_04 30:48

So I'm like, hey, tell the girls here while we're at the pool party, all tripping out, having lunch rooms. Um, not him, but us girls, but us girls. And I'm like, tell them what you said. And he used words, adjectives that I didn't know were possible. And so he's like, no, I feel everything. I was like, wait, you do? So I'm hearing his take on this whole thing real time with you guys. I'm like, please tell me everything right now and make it good and go back in case I missed something about myself. And he's like, No, I feel it all. I'm like, you feel it all? And he's like, Yeah, I'm like, because guys, you know, with all the yoga and all the ballet, I didn't even know I was doing it, but I was just like, A, B, C, D, E, G. Hey, so I was like, C and G. I was like, I have come a long way. Like, she's been training her whole life for this, and it was a beautiful time to say all these things. My body's very drawn to that thing, and it is a real problem.

SPEAKER_01 31:56

I know. I'm just laughing because while he's telling that story, he was like standing up and you're sitting down on the pool deck, and like your legs are up in the air, and you're like, ah, like you're like, oh my god, fuck me right here.

SPEAKER_02 32:11

Like, I can't handle it. I can't handle it. You're so hot.

SPEAKER_01 32:14

You're so hot. You know, he's really hot. And we're just giggling. It was so good. I was like, that was very descriptive. I'm happy that you use all those words.

SPEAKER_04 32:20

A symphony? I am like a ice drill. I was like, good sir, you will go down in history. I don't know what number you end up in, but nicely done. He's such a freak. I love that about him. Yeah. It's very terrible. There's a whole world out there. And we are gonna live it. Yes, yes, we are. We're gonna live in it. We're gonna leave the hills, we're gonna pack up the closet. Can you guys believe this? We we we can't even believe it. It would be really helpful with all this because it's so overwhelming. Um, is if we had something singular to focus on, like a record deal, because what a great time to harness a lot of energy for something 100%.

SPEAKER_01 33:11

This I we are gonna have so much energy freed up. I am at least.

SPEAKER_04 33:15

Me too. Um having some space.

SPEAKER_01 33:17

So, what are we doing for July? We're gonna do so. I know. Let's see, July. July is content heavy. Um, well, okay, you have your first influencer deal. It's gonna take so much work. It is, yes. You try being an influencer for a day. It's hard work, it is legit hard work. I do want to double down on the influencing content creation UGC stuff because that's gonna be a really good moneymaker for us. And now we have the time and the energy to do it. So let's buckle down and get some contracts.

SPEAKER_04 33:47

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I love that we're gonna have a content creator house. I know. I'm excited for a change of scenery. So fucking wild. Don't let me forget to get my meds today.

unknown 34:00

All right.

SPEAKER_01 34:01

Should we go get your meds and get some ice cream? Oh, yeah. Yeah. You guys. This is awesome. Buckle up, everybody, because it's gonna be a bumpy ride. All right. Um, make sure you like, subscribe, follow at Honestly Smartless, Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, wherever you get your podcast. Share this with all of your friends and send us some DMs and some well wishes. And we'll see you next time. Bye.

SPEAKER_04 34:28

Well done. Do you think it's our best? It's pretty high up there.