How to Get Divorced with your Best Friend

Chelsea smuggled a butcher knife out of her old apartment at 8 AM, drove through a school zone going 30 in a 20 with it stuffed in her boot, still high from yoga, and has decided to just leave it in the trail trash. 

Lindsay's Instagram algorithm is puppies and makeup. Chelsea's is full of girls making out and sex product ads. 

Chelsea posted her first foot photo at 2 AM with full production, lighting, lotion, angles. 

Lindsay is grieving physically, therapy wipes her out every Monday, and she wants to start dating like an Amish person: once a week, 9AM to 4PM only, no acknowledging each other's families until formally introduced. 

Chelsea took the wrong medication combination for a week and was "real real bad." 

The restaurant stopped scheduling Chelsea. The podcast is taking over. They're writing a book about how to get divorced with your best friend and they are not kidding. 

August better show up because July was huge.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Like what? What do you mean? Like, what are you doing? Are you laying down? Are you kicking it? Are you watching TV? What do you want to know? Tell me. I just want to know what happens in your day-to-day life. Wanna try again, guys?

SPEAKER_02 0:25

Is that your best tech or do you want to do it again? Hello! And welcome to this week's episode of Honestly Spoiless. I'm Chelsea Toronto. And I'm Dr. Lindsay. And welcome.

SPEAKER_03 0:34

Each week we're just two dumb girls, chit-chatting away. Sometimes we're smart and always hilarious. And I can see it now. You're gonna be fucking around with that pillow behind you. Because it is all chatty wampus back here. Anyway.

SPEAKER_02 0:49

Remember how last week met Shaley O'Reilly. Shane O'Reilly. And how she uses a butcher knife to make a point. Yeah. Okay, hang on a second. I just want you to get a visual. Okay. I'm ready.

SPEAKER_03 1:05

That's aggressive. I'm afraid.

SPEAKER_02 1:07

Ten reasons why men hate women.

SPEAKER_03 1:09

You're gonna slice my hair right off. Look how fucking scary this is.

SPEAKER_02 1:13

I don't like that. Don't point at me. I don't pay attention. Okay, that bitch had me doing some crazy ass shit. Now hear me out, Shane. O'Reilly. I really like your message. Um, I was a social work major with a minor in women's studies. I like the way you're delivering it. Those really CSU days. Sure. Social work. So it resonates, right? And it does for so many people because she's got so many followers. But I'm really hopeful that she'll hear us out.

SPEAKER_03 1:42

After seeing the knife in person up to your head and pointing it at me on accident, I'm like, that's jarring. That was a little too close for comfort.

SPEAKER_02 1:51

I guess when you're seeing it on the screen, it doesn't really phase me, but in person, I girl, any knife coming at me is kind of kung fu fighting, like cover your face or some shit. So I snuck in to my old place. I took it the ninth. Was this at 2 a.m. in the morning? No, kind of sneaky name. It was like 8 a.m. Oh okay. They just finished yoga. Uh-huh. I I pull this big ass knife out of the sheath. Like, what's his name in the stone? Um, I put the knife in my little backpack. Poor little hammer backpack can't handle a sharp knife. I'm not gonna take this to Starbucks because that's weird. So I put it in the car. I'm about to put it in the most cliche spot behind my driver's seat. I'm gonna get fucking pulled over. Yeah. Uh-huh. And there's gonna be like a fucking machete. And then he's gonna be like, Have you been smoking? Jail! Open this, put the knife down. Pray, please.

SPEAKER_03 2:43

What am I patients? Because he said kung fu. Who the fuck says kung fu anymore? A former kung fu Paul Mitchell team karate kung fu fighter. That's who says kung fu. He said those words, and I'm like, what'd you say about Pilates karate? And he's like, no, Paul Mitchell karate team. Like, maybe I'm just really tired, but I can't comprehend a single word that's coming out of your mouth. Telling me that he was on a professional karate team. Yeah. I know. And Paul Mitchell, what? Like, did your hair? No, it's just our sponsor. Did you get products? Like, no, I just shaved head. This humidity is killing me. The sweater is toasty.

SPEAKER_02 3:23

I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_03 3:24

You guys, I don't have a brawn. And I almost just did like this a bit too much.

SPEAKER_02 3:29

Ha ha! Watch on YouTube! See what just happened! I have to turn my phone on. I'm a hundred percent serious. Alright. Should I turn my phone off?

SPEAKER_03 3:37

Yeah, you know, you don't hurt. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:40

This is low-key a problem. My feed is sending me things that are youthful. This dancer and her instructor. The ballet dancers doing a pose with like her leg in the air. And you see the instructor stroking inside of her thigh across her vagina. But makes it look artistic. Like, no fucking way. Full on grazed her. Have you seen any reels on Instagram that do that? No. If you say your algorithm is youthful, I would say it's very sexual. There's so much more to this. It's sending me young girls making out with each other. What? No. Kidding. What? What is happening over there? No. I'm afraid because we mentioned quasi-petty last week-ish kind of periphery. I should be careful that they're gonna think this might be a thing for her. She's into young girls making out.

SPEAKER_03 4:41

Oh, but your laptop is on, so it's listening. So bad. I watched your feed and scrolling through. It is quite an interesting place over there. Tell me what's up. Between the instructor feeling up his student and spreading her legs out and open from behind her, then the girl with the knife. The girls making out, a lot of sexual poses, a lot of ads for sex products. I guess that's that's my category. Yes, it is. Who knew that I was in that category? Did you? Well, based on your content, yes. Recent. Yes. Recent content, yes. The algorithm picks it up real quick. Because they're watching. Yes. Meanwhile, I'm just over here on puppies and makeup and fitness. That's where I want to live. I don't want my algorithm infiltrated, so I turn my phone off because I don't want to have girls make it out of my page.

SPEAKER_02 5:32

That's because you haven't sold your persona yet. No, I haven't. Do you know what I mean? Mm-hmm. Your thing will be your thing. This just happens to be the thing that comes with mine.

SPEAKER_03 5:43

Mine is OPG.

SPEAKER_02 5:44

I hope you sell your soul just a little bit at some point. No, absolutely not. I'm really concerned. I'm afraid it's gonna frame me.

SPEAKER_03 5:52

From being a pedo? If it's on Instagram, it must be legal. They would take it down. Instagram is a real stickler for content. They don't let a lot of things fly. It would be taken down. I guess I'll turn my phone back on.

SPEAKER_01 6:03

Alright, well.

SPEAKER_03 6:04

Are we done talking about being pedos? Are you really gonna say that? Are we done talking about young children?

unknown 6:10

Stop.

SPEAKER_03 6:11

Is Chelsea done talking about? Stop talking! Lindsay's so mean to me now. No, Chelsea just gave me some attitude for my snack of choosing. No. You misinterpret it. Don't take it personally. No, I didn't really.

SPEAKER_02 6:23

I know it struck a thing, but it's more of me just still not knowing how to fend for myself.

SPEAKER_03 6:28

It's a panic thing.

SPEAKER_02 6:30

This is a very big breakthrough.

SPEAKER_03 6:32

Here's a good exercise. You're hungry. If you had all the food options in the world at your disposal at snack time, what would you like to be eating? I don't know. Do you want something warm? Maybe. You want something cold? No. Okay. Warm. Let's go buy genre of food. Italian. No. Mexican. Nope. Chinese. No. Thai. No. American. You mean like tendies? Yeah. Maybe.

SPEAKER_02 7:00

Okay, some chicken tendies. Yeah. I have the palate of a six-year-old boy. So should we stock dino nuggies? I don't want anything, but then I'm hungry. Or is it that I'm sad and lonely and trying to eat some feelings? I haven't figured it out yet. But we're workshopping it.

SPEAKER_03 7:15

Yeah. I didn't realize it was such an issue. I know. But I was just talking about how since I don't cook here, I will starve to death. That's what I'm saying. I'm unlearned.

SPEAKER_02 7:25

I'm an indoor cat, y'all.

SPEAKER_03 7:27

It's the process of cooking food I don't enjoy. It's such an undertaking. But I don't miss cooking food because I would like more variety in what I'm eating. That's why I'm eating salads and snacks and fruit. And I mean that's generally all I eat anyway. And then chicken tendies, I guess, when I'm really living life. We can get chicken tendies later. That'd be dope. Okay. And ice cream. Yeah. Yeah. I want ice cream too.

SPEAKER_02 7:49

Actually, I'm not even feeling it. But I do like the act of going. It's a food and the thing. Sure. We're doing activity. Dude, I was pretty motivated today. In what way? Got up. Get seven. Went to yoga. You left the house before me today. I was rigid. I was so disciplined.

SPEAKER_00 8:07

Dude.

SPEAKER_02 8:07

How's it feel? You know what? It had a strong sensation down below. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:17

Really is. Yeah. You're like, fuck yeah, I did so much shit today. That's a great feeling. Feels very grounding, very satisfying. I'm not turned on per se by being accomplished. Yeah, I would say yeah. Is that right up in there? Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. It's very satisfying.

SPEAKER_02 8:33

I was like, oh, I didn't know this is a bonus feel. This is why she does so much shit. That feels yummy. Seriously. I don't know. Being successful felt good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:46

How did I know? I'm very impressed. You did a lot of work today. I appreciate that. You're welcome. You are turning into a new human because you pre-booked your next appointment with Laura. Twice now.

SPEAKER_02 8:55

That is wild. You know what? When that shit hits zero, it's too much lag time. My thinking is at this point, I will get in sooner if I pre-book than if I wait. And then she'll be six weeks out. Because she's already booking out, like, I don't know, three weeks.

SPEAKER_03 9:10

Yeah. You know what? I will just panic when the time comes. Yeah, no, I'll do that. Yeah. And that's what I've been doing. I just want to stay on top of it. Yeah. It might be worn off by time. She's back from having her tenth child.

SPEAKER_02 9:21

So that that is what it is.

SPEAKER_03 9:23

I mean, there's always another girl to go to there, but I love I'm not, you know, we have a nice working relationship.

SPEAKER_02 9:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:28

No, I'm inclined to fuck around and find out. I know. And I love that about you.

SPEAKER_02 9:32

She earned my trust and I like the work she does. I like the results I get. She understands the aesthetic that I'm seeking and knows how much more I can comfortably do without freaking out. So she's the right injector for me. It's like the right practitioner for the right issue.

SPEAKER_03 9:53

Yeah. I would probably like maybe a little bit more of an aggressive touch to it, but I like what I like. It's good.

SPEAKER_02 10:00

How on earth could you think that individual was going to give you anything aggressive?

unknown 10:05

I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 10:05

I thought maybe she'd be like, let's try something else. And like, I'm like, how about if I get some more Botox around my jaw? Like, I like that. When college. I thought I hit the jackpot yesterday with work with an hour of pickleball and then a workout and then a microneedle session. I was like, this is the best day ever. And I wore a new outfit, and people loved my new outfit because it was a nice, like, berry-colored biker short set. And I actually didn't wear a top most of the day because I was like, I don't have to. I tied my sweatshirt around me like a tennis style. And I was like, it says lifetime on it. It has my uniform on it. You know, I'm like, when will I grow out of that immature phase of being like, meh, stick my tongue out? Be like because I can.

unknown 10:45

Nope.

SPEAKER_02 10:46

Don't ever lose it.

SPEAKER_03 10:47

Yeah, no.

SPEAKER_02 10:48

Oh, yes, may I please?

SPEAKER_03 10:50

Anyway. Anyways, so I go to bed really early at 9 p.m. I what do you do after I go to bed? I'm just curious, like, like what happens after 9 p.m. right now.

SPEAKER_02 11:07

Explain to them why you're asking me this.

SPEAKER_03 11:10

Explain to them. I'm asking because I saw on your Instagram today when you're posting timestamps. I think it was like 2.06 a.m. And it's like, uh-oh, T D process. I was like, 2.06 a.m. And you're doing outfits at 2 06 a.m. Like what? How? Like what? I don't even understand. And they're like, okay, you put that outfit on. And then I know you're probably fucking around and trying on 10 other outfits. And then that might be the first one. That might be the 10th one. I don't know. You might be up for another hour putting outfits on. Like, I'm just wondering what happens in here after I go to bed. Like, what? What do you mean? Like, what are you doing? What are you happy here? Are you laying down? Are you kicking it? Are you watching TV? What do you want to know? Tell me. I just want to know what happens in your day-to-day life. Like, because I knew that you stayed up late. And I just assumed that you were just like tinkering around with stuff or like when you have like if your dog's if you're other other house, like you're with your dogs or something, or like watching a show. I don't know. That seems to not be happening. So I'm just like, I like you do so many activities when I'm sleeping. I'm just curious.

SPEAKER_02 12:30

I don't know. Um, I would say content. Do a fuck ton of content. What do I do at night? Uh I don't know. I really because I was prepping the foot thing. I posted a my first foot photo on my subscriber page. So you're prepping the foot.

SPEAKER_03 12:46

And then I got a follow-up request for one. Oh. And I was like, well, let's go back to prepping the foot. What are we doing with the foot? Like lotion? Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:54

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And then the lighting for it, how much you moisturize and the calluses. You know what I mean? Because what am I looking at? And what from what angle? And then what else is in the shot? And what colors and the contrast? Is there a story? Blah de blah. It's staging like that, but then I'm like up to my ankle. Okay. So now I'm watching a YouTube and I gotta get my laptop, then my phone, and I can practice looking at the camera angles. So that was one thing I was doing, and I was looking for my laptop so I could do that. See?

SPEAKER_03 13:25

Like that. I'm like, what? What?

SPEAKER_02 13:32

Um, well, it's what I've always done, which includes writing, reading, journaling, costume playing, makeup, hair, kind of theatrical baloney, and then a lot of prancing around in front of the mirror.

SPEAKER_03 13:50

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. You're nocturnal, so the nighttime is your daytime to do all the things. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I guess I just didn't realize how late you stayed up. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:00

Not always, but yeah. Well, because it's unused time. Right. And the whole world's quieter. And there's less to distract. I should be wearing sunglasses throughout the day because it just I get so much more done when it's a little darker.

SPEAKER_03 14:15

Yeah, I'm sure that's which is the funny thing because we're like, we love all the lights on and like the doors open and windows open. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:22

I know. I'm so easily distracted. Look at this glorious beauty, and it was raining all day and the thunder literally, this is my dream.

SPEAKER_03 14:29

You were that YouTube video where it's playing jazz in the background and the rain is coming down, and you're sitting in the coffee shop, laptop.

SPEAKER_02 14:39

So shaily, I want you to know. Now I'm gonna have to take that knife and get rid of it. I'm not driving it back home. I'm gonna have to dump it in my trash bags along the trail. We could probably use a knife in this house for food.

SPEAKER_00 14:51

You look like a scavenger, like a ski.

SPEAKER_03 14:55

So I can chop up my cherry tomatoes and eat them as a use it to stir something. You need a DoorDash allowance. It's okay. I am so grateful. I could not be doing any of this without this place. That is awesome. I wake up and I look out my window and I say, I am so grateful to be here. Oh my god, this house is fucking awesome. Like, thank you so much. I love it so much. Yeah, I love it so much. I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm so grateful. Like it's like a reality TV heel house where you come to heal. Yes, it is.

SPEAKER_02 15:29

This is my nonprofit where you get a 90-day reset, but I would not be where we are today. Oh I just feel like I'm able energetically get there a little bit faster, and there's nothing blocking anything. Yes. I mean, that and I do get squirrely, but here's the thing, I would still be squirrely at home. Right. In order to tap that far in, it's like Ready Player One. There's a real reason why that kind of resonated with a lot of people because you don't need just an VR, but rather you could just still be on your platform all day. You can still feel the effect of Ready Player One when you disconnect and you're like, I am awkward. And you're angry because you're detoxing. It's a detox feel. Okay. Till I get like burn off and no noticing that pattern. Cause it's like I'm angry from the detoxing. You know, when like you take kids away from their Nintendo and they're angry.

SPEAKER_03 16:19

I think it's similar that. When you're done recording for the day, like when you caught me at the end of the day. I'm still like Oh, sure.

SPEAKER_02 16:27

Yeah, testy. Oh yeah, testy. I was taking the wrong medication. Oh shit. Real, real bad. Uh-oh. I was thinking the absolute worst thing I could have possibly be taking. Really? Yeah. It was a bad idea. Oh no. Didn't really see that one through. Okay, such a dummy. I am not a doctor.

SPEAKER_03 16:42

You're me either. So but what I would say is that you should go to your local pharmacist or your practitioner who is a medical doctor. It's fine. Make sure that your medicines work together. So yeah, I'm just.

SPEAKER_02 16:55

It's wild. Things just feel so different, but that's from the inside out. And yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:00

Crazy. I think I'm finally getting settled in. And now, so at my house, at my old house, when I want to like journal or be by myself, it's so silent. And you know, it's more powerful to speak things out into the world and into existence, like verbally say it out loud. And I'm finally comfortable enough to actually speak something out loud and into existence because I've never been able to do that before. So it was so nice to go on a walk today. And yes, I'm talking to myself out loud on the Highline because that's how it's done. And it was so cleansing, and it was so much more powerful than just being in my thoughts all day and in my head. Like, I just need to get this out into the universe. So yeah, yesterday and today, finally today is where I'm like, okay, I am feeling comfortable. We can start living now. That's what it takes sometimes.

SPEAKER_02 17:48

You know what? Whatever it takes. Yeah. Well, yeah. Coming in hot. We have a real blank easel here, and I'm so grateful for it because, like, no stuff.

SPEAKER_03 17:56

Yeah. Minimal. I know. I can't believe you really don't need a lot of stuff to live. No. It's kind of wild. I am better off alone.

SPEAKER_02 18:03

Why do you say so? It's just not the same creative output. Yeah. You can't have both. And it's wild. If there was a way, I'm sure there's a way you can have everything. It's just I don't know. Everything's so different.

SPEAKER_03 18:18

Right. I think it's you have to put parameters on the times that you spend with people.

SPEAKER_02 18:25

Yeah, I just I think you if I understand what like be deliberate.

SPEAKER_03 18:30

I've never had to be deliberate before with my you know, like if you are working a lot, hey, I'm I'll give you my time between this time and this time. It's just better not to have anyone in.

SPEAKER_02 18:42

Yeah, you won't waste any mental energy on it. Or they're just like uh an emotional like um you lose the do they take the dopamines away. I see. Like their sugar content is way stronger than if I just like keep playing Barbies over here two in the morning. Playing dress-up, journaling and music, running up and down. I'm trying on outfits and I'm like editing my wardrobe and trying to start preparing. It's the shit I've always been doing. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 19:13

I know, I was just curious.

SPEAKER_02 19:15

I know. I'll try and take I'll try and that's why Instagram's great for me. I don't have to be as alone, alone, alone. Right. Because before I was. And a lot of it because um this is exactly what it was like at Kemplace. Alone. Like me in my own room and then I just want to pull you out of your room at night, and he'd come in and he'd be like, what are you doing in here? And he would always fucking startle me. I'm like, I could never lower my guard. Right. Just enough to like, like, I guess Well, you were saying that you were being you were able to like speak aloud for the first time. I felt enough freedom to not be quiet. Sure.

SPEAKER_03 20:00

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 20:00

After I need to do stuff and I'd like to keep the goddamn lights on, and it's none of your goddamn business what I'm doing. Suck it. Leave me alone. Suck it. Anyway, I'm afraid of it. I don't want to go to jail. Please don't go to jail. I need you here. You know what? You'd be better off if I wasn't. You know why? Because then you could go to all these birthday parties. All these people, you guys, people hate me. And I'm I'm no. No, it's okay. I'm growing a thick skin, and that is just fine. I'm more curious from a s like uh just from an observant kind of perspective. Like, what is it?

SPEAKER_03 20:41

I'd just be more curious about because then I would I'm looking for like the we what's the theme? Yeah. Well, I think you said the other day maybe they just want all my attention. I say when we come in hot as a package deal, it's a lot. Like we, it's too much. We take over. And that that can be a lot when it's your day and you want to be celebrated and you don't want to be outshadowed. So I I can see that.

SPEAKER_02 21:13

One of our um listeners said that too. Like, you two are a lot. Yep, yes, we are. That's fairly. I don't I mean I but I'm just always looking to evolve and like I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 21:25

I don't know, so many things. Same. And I had to turn down a birthday party because I am just tired.

SPEAKER_02 21:31

I should have gone.

SPEAKER_03 21:32

No, I didn't have it in me.

SPEAKER_02 21:35

It would have been a lot.

SPEAKER_03 21:36

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 21:36

It's too much.

SPEAKER_03 21:37

It's too much. And they would have asked you questions.

SPEAKER_01 21:39

I know, and I don't want to answer questions. No, it's none of their business.

SPEAKER_02 21:42

It's not the appropriate time to have this conversation. It's not like breaking up with one of my boyfriends. Ladies, just because I am as useful as you, you can't tell but like there's history.

SPEAKER_03 21:54

There's And I think I'm more mature than most of those people that are there.

SPEAKER_02 22:00

And they haven't even been out of high school as long as you were married.

SPEAKER_01 22:04

I know. Literally.

SPEAKER_02 22:05

So that's always hard to remember. I mean, same with my work. I am socializing with 18-year-olds. Yes. Like it's no big deal. And I love it.

SPEAKER_03 22:17

I'm too fragile in the head to have like multiple people on rotation.

SPEAKER_02 22:21

Yeah. Thank you for saying it that way. Because I did fuck my way to my first uh divorce. And yeah, that wrecked me. Yeah. Wrecked me for a while.

SPEAKER_03 22:31

Yeah. I'm too like smart. Yeah. I'm too fucked up.

SPEAKER_01 22:37

You are how fucked up. Just like it had to happen. Yeah. I know.

SPEAKER_03 22:45

That's why I tell him I was telling myself on my walk today, I was like, I wanted this. So now let's fucking go. And it's like I have to p talk myself up. I'm like, you know you want to do this. You know you want to podcast. You know you want to make content. Like I'm podcasting full time, but I'm doing content full time. Like, come on, body. Like get physically moving. There's a lot of energy going on. I feel the energy going on. And like I feel a shift happening. Like I feel it's shifting for me. I feel shifting for you and like us. It's just just because I am like dragging my ass behind you, doesn't mean I'm not feeling not doing it.

SPEAKER_02 23:19

You have to keep telling me because I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 23:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:21

I don't know how you're feeling.

SPEAKER_01 23:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:23

And I that is one time where I don't speculate.

SPEAKER_01 23:26

Oh, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:27

So until you're telling me, like, hey, this is how I'm feeling, I'll be like, oh, okay, I'll take that under advisement because otherwise you look no different than you ever did. I know. I know.

SPEAKER_03 23:35

I know you look exactly the same.

SPEAKER_02 23:36

So how the fuck am I supposed to react? It's been hard wrapping my head around that. One day everything was, but then you're like, yeah, I'm out. Like, you know, like this is buying the fucking practice times a billion.

SPEAKER_03 23:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:50

Okay, I know. But I'm you know how long I was flabbergasted that you bought the business? I'm still in awe. Now we have quadrupled that.

SPEAKER_03 24:00

Yeah, I guess I don't really think about it. I'm just like, I made a decision and that's it. I but that's what you got, that's why you got me around.

SPEAKER_01 24:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:07

Because I do need to be flabbergasted. And to be like the sidekick, the emotional sidekick is like, get off. You're like, what? And that's just fine. You can't have two overreacting individuals. Yeah, no.

SPEAKER_03 24:20

Like, who would I be playing to I make the decision and I go, and then you're there to be like, what? We should be hosting one of those bullshit lady get togethers in a year from now. Be like, let it let us tell you how to get divorced with your best friend and how you come out the other side and how you become successful and take over the world.

SPEAKER_02 24:43

Why don't we do that?

SPEAKER_03 24:44

And we'll do a book. Oh my gosh, that's a great book.

SPEAKER_02 24:46

Yeah. Finally, we have a great book idea together. Delusional. I'm like, are you kidding me? Do you know how great it is to get divorced with your best friend? I know it feels so real.

SPEAKER_03 24:56

We don't feel like we don't really play this shtick up yet. I know. It feels surreal.

SPEAKER_01 25:02

So real.

SPEAKER_03 25:03

Surreal. Yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_01 25:04

I do.

SPEAKER_03 25:04

Because one day I was just like, and I'm done. Yeah, that is how I did the business. I'm like, I'm gonna start a business now and I'm buying it. Okay. And I'm done with that. Move on. You better not be fucking done with the podcast. I'm not fucking done with the podcast. I've said that to you before. There was a cross country high school boys' team on the show. Shut the fuck up. I thought of you.

SPEAKER_02 25:28

I know.

SPEAKER_03 25:28

I know exactly who they are.

SPEAKER_02 25:31

Call me a rapport. I hate cross country. I hate it too. It gives me the ick. I wanted to be a runner so bad. I was in cross country for maybe two to three weeks.

SPEAKER_03 25:42

It's a bunch of Tim's, but like smug ass Tim's. Yeah. I quit after my second race. Maybe my first race. Oh, I know I quit. It's my birthday. And I was like, it's my birthday, I quit. I don't want to run anymore.

SPEAKER_02 25:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:56

Smug runners. They are smug runners. Like elite little. Yeah. You know what? You're not from Kenya, so fuck off. Yeah. You're never gonna win. And your dumb little short shorts. Your dumb little short shorts. I always wanted to be a runner.

SPEAKER_03 26:08

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